Monday, July 27, 2009

Poisoned

I have to tell you this story because it is "CLASSIC" Clint Carter. For some reason, I really love laughing at myself.

I have a really nice garden right now in my back yard. Every day I go out there to see what is new. I walk around, pull a few weeds and marvel at all of the plants that are growing. The last few weeks I have notice that there are a large amount of bugs eating the leaves on my plants. So, I went down to the local bug spray store and bought some spray that would not harm vegetables. I marched right back to my garden and started spraying. I've killed several earwigs and plenty of ants in my quest to dominate the insect world.

Yesterday I went out again and found a bunch of bugs living underneath my squash leaves so, I ran to the garage to grab my spray. I lifted the leaves, one by one, and gave a quick quirt. One of those times, I miss fired and hit my thumb. Not a big deal, so I kept up my attack. After several minutes my thumb felt a little dry. I then wondered to myself, could this stuff hurt me? I decided to peal back the label and check out the "Warnings". Lets see, the regular statement about squirting in your eyes was there. The normal, "keep away from children". An interesting one that said if it got on my clothing that I needed to remove my clothing immediately and wash them, (which startled me a little). And then, the kicker, "If you spray your skin, wash your hands with soap and water Immediately, then keep running water on exposed skin for 15 to 20 MINUTES! WHAT! 15 minutes? Then, it said to call THE POISON CONTROL HOTLINE! I had definitely underestimated this bug spray. I wiggled my thumb in an attempt to see if my digit was still in good working order. It was, but I could definitely feel that it might be feeling a little bit dry. I then decided to follow the instructions on the label so my thumb would not dry up in to a black shriveled mass and fall off of my hand. I washed my hand with soap and water for what seemed several minutes and then ran my hand under the water as long as I thought was necessary. However, as I looked over at the clock, it was way Way less than 15 minutes. I then went up stairs, casually as to not cause alarm, and removed my contaminated clothing and put them in the wash and proceeded to take a shower that probably could have lasted 10 minutes. That definitely should do the trick, I thought. I stewed and fretted over my thumb for most of the day, watching for signs of poisoning.

At the end of the day, I was pretty sure I wasn't going to die. So, before bed I went in to brush my teeth and noticed a bottle of 409 sitting on the counter. I decided, just for fun, to check the Warning Label to see how it differed from the bug spray. It too began with the normal kids warnings and eye warnings so I skipped down to the skin warning and low and behold, it said, "If you spray your skin, wash your hands with soap and water Immediately, then keep running water on exposed skin for 15 to 20 minutes then call poison control.

I had obviously worried MY THUMB OFF ABOUT NOTHING!!!

2 comments:

Marni said...

Yo, better safe than a "black shriveled mass."

Melinda said...

I read this last night a nd I'm still chuckling about you. Soso funny. they surely are covering their bases. I just hope that when you read the instructions on the bug killer that you didn't shreak like a girl and go running with your hands in the air to the bathroom. j:)